Hello Everyone,
Its great to be back to share the experience of my most disastrous part of my life; CANCER - It has shaped me. When I was recovering in the hospital bed, staring outside the window, I saw specifically two pegions fighting.
As they fought, one of them with its beak almost threw the other down, which flew down to another chamber. Suddenly I heard a voice, "See, I am teaching you to fly". I don't know if it was the papa pegion who threw his child away to teach him to fly. But I certainly know, it is My GOD who is teaching me to fly under his supervision. To have faith whatsoever, to lean on to HIM alone and to be thankful of such experiences. Okay, so this was not so disastrous, was it?
But the day, when I was told by my wife, "The doctor said that they doubt it to be a cancerous growth in your colon (Large Intestine)." I was broken. Only one thing came to my mind- "Why me, Lord? Why me?" It was only after two retreats in Tabor that I gained the strength to go through it. Actually, I was still not ready, I wanted my God to heal me. But God had other plans. As I was getting ready for the day of my surgery - I should say God had everything in place. Fortis - One of the best known in India. The date and time was also set a day earlier to my surgery. I did not have to worry about anything, everything was in place. I look back to that day,16 Feb, 2014 when I was preparing for the surgery, I had no fear, no tension, no worry about my surgery the next day, i.e, 17 Feb, 2014. I just knew, God has something beautiful in store for me - be it surgery or be it something else.
Well, truth as you know the surgery was done and that too successfully. God's mercy, Prayers of many, as Immanuel mailed me an army was praying for me. Everything went well.
Love should be our prime Goal.
Its great to be back to share the experience of my most disastrous part of my life; CANCER - It has shaped me. When I was recovering in the hospital bed, staring outside the window, I saw specifically two pegions fighting.
As they fought, one of them with its beak almost threw the other down, which flew down to another chamber. Suddenly I heard a voice, "See, I am teaching you to fly". I don't know if it was the papa pegion who threw his child away to teach him to fly. But I certainly know, it is My GOD who is teaching me to fly under his supervision. To have faith whatsoever, to lean on to HIM alone and to be thankful of such experiences. Okay, so this was not so disastrous, was it?
But the day, when I was told by my wife, "The doctor said that they doubt it to be a cancerous growth in your colon (Large Intestine)." I was broken. Only one thing came to my mind- "Why me, Lord? Why me?" It was only after two retreats in Tabor that I gained the strength to go through it. Actually, I was still not ready, I wanted my God to heal me. But God had other plans. As I was getting ready for the day of my surgery - I should say God had everything in place. Fortis - One of the best known in India. The date and time was also set a day earlier to my surgery. I did not have to worry about anything, everything was in place. I look back to that day,16 Feb, 2014 when I was preparing for the surgery, I had no fear, no tension, no worry about my surgery the next day, i.e, 17 Feb, 2014. I just knew, God has something beautiful in store for me - be it surgery or be it something else.
Well, truth as you know the surgery was done and that too successfully. God's mercy, Prayers of many, as Immanuel mailed me an army was praying for me. Everything went well.
I remember the moment my surgery was completed, and I was
brought to the ICU ward. I was in so much of pain. Nothing came into my mind
but pain. That night I called the doctor to raise the doze of painkillers given
to me. But he said that I was already on high dosage of painkillers. A bit more
would affect my kidneys. I understood that nothing more was possible. Here I
want to highlight the amount of pain that I was in, even after high dosage of
painkillers. I was suddenly taken to the foot of the Cross of our LORD. He did
not accept any painkillers .i.e, Mirrh. We read, that he was given wine mixed
with Mirh, which is the most bitter but the best painkiller which eases pain.
He did not accept it. Even at the point of death, at such pain, Jesus knew only
to forgive. He could recite only psalms. Even the greatest cry was “El el lama
sabachtani”, a psalm. Its then i realised where Jesus invited us. To be
perfect. To be like Him, to be like Father, Full of LOVE. Only a heart full of Love, can forgive his enemy who is causing the pain. Wow! Our God is awesome. Here I was, in pain,
only abuses were coming out of my mind. I was praying for other cancer
patients, so that, God will have mercy and ease my pain. Conditional Love.
Jesus invites us to have unconditional love. Jesus said, “It is from the depth
of your heart that you sin, not from your limbs”. That night I knew my true
self. I knew what I was made of. I knew how much of filth is inside of me.
It is at the point of much pain, that you know your true
self. Gold is made pure under fire -> pain. If you too are undergoing pain,
just realize God wants you to know what you are made of Gold or Bronze. Even if
you are a great preacher, great healer, many other things, if you do not have
love, you are nothing.
I remember a song -> Alayil adugal erre undengilum, Logam
muzhuvan Swanthamanengilum. Snehamilengil njan shoonyanalle. Its a beautiful
song please do listen to it. It means, Even if you have many sheep with you, or
if you own the whole world, if you do not have LOVE, you are nothing.
Love should be our prime Goal.
May Christ have Mercy
Joseph Thanickal
